You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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