I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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