He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize