Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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