dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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