The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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