u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
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