so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
