im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
