Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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