go do what you do best...puke behind churches
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
