I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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