I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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