I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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