Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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