Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
