im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
