Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
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