so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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