can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
