so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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