I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
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We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So vagazzling was a success
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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