So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
