Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
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I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
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Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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