sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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