Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So squirting runs in the family.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
