Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
