I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
