I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize