and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
