do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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