I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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