Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
