I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
