you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The feeling are messing with the penis
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
