come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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