Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
