sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
