I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
