guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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