You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he fucked my hip out of place.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
