ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I AM VODKA MAN
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
