Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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