let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize