Duck Duck Cougar?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
