How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
