Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
