What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
3 2 1 whiskey
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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