She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
