If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
