i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
