paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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