he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My cat gives me a boner
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize