Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Do vagina's smell?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
