I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
