I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
