I am puke
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
