So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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