Pregnant stripper...not hot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize