Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
