i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
